Acceptance, Attitude, Encouragement, labelling, lifestyle

Labelling people is such an easy thing to do

Labeling people is such an easy thing to do. Often while I am out you hear people say, “Oh that’s the naughty one!” Or something similar. Trouble is when you start doing this, you start seeing them through those lenses and everything becomes bad and naughty.

On the other hand, you can hear people labeling adults too. Sometimes it is easier to do so so that other people can identify who you are talking about. That kind of labeling isn’t really a problem if you do it to identify someone to another person.

But there can be a problem when you label someone as being bossy, or impatient, or always late or things like that. People are not “just” the disabled person or the one who is continually smiling. They are more than the label you put on them.

I have encountered many different attitudes with regards to seeing me in a wheelchair. Some see the person, but I have been to appointments with one of my carers and people will speak to her, but not to me. Sometimes the chair becomes an impediment to creating relationships, but that shouldn’t be the case.

When people are labeled and seen just like the label, you are in danger of not discovering the gifts and talents they have. You could have called out something inside them and encouraged them. People have different interests than just what you can see.

I love it when someone looks at me and supports me in what I want to do. My husband has always been there for me and given me space and time to do what I want to do. It is great to have a supportive environment and Kevin has even encouraged me to do things that I feel I am unable to do and I discover that, to my surprise, I can do them.

Labeling a person doesn’t mean that is all they are. You need to look past the label you have placed on that person and see who they are underneath that label.

My son got a diagnosis yesterday and although it opens up help and support for him, the label itself doesn’t change him. We see him as he is and the different gifts he has are there to be encouraged and developed. He is a highly intelligent boy who loves to be outside and loves to learn. I never want him to lose his joy of learning.

So when you see a person and instinctively label them as just one thing, think about it for a minute. A few seconds and being mindful is all it takes. The label doesn’t define them. You can look beyond that and find the real person inside. Don’t be fooled by the label, but make a conscious effort to see beyond it to the person inside.

Attitude, authentic, lifestyle, mindset

Authenticity in your life

Today I want to talk about authenticity. To be honest with you, I really didn’t have a clue what to write about today at first. Yesterday felt totally full on with everything that happened. It was a real curveball and I was unable to do anything I had intended on doing.

The day started off with an unusual occurrence. I took Johnathan to the nursery and as I was about to leave, the fire alarm went off. He struggles with loud noises and lights so I knew this wouldn’t be an easy thing for him to cope with. As we exited the building, Johnathan wanted to come onto my lap for comfort but I knew I had to leave him with the nursery staff to look after.

This was not an easy thing to do, but it was a necessity. He has to know that other people can look after him, not just Mummy and Daddy. I felt very emotional leaving him but I knew it was the right thing to do. Admitting I was emotional about it wasn’t easy but I knew that I want to live an authentic life and be true to myself and everyone around me.

There are other ways that we can be authentic too, not just with our emotions. When we promote ourselves online, we can do it in a way that is true to us or not. Sometimes people think that if they follow someone else’s idea of promoting and it has worked for them, so it should work for everybody.

Actually, that isn’t true. You can’t be someone else. You are who you are and you cannot be anyone else. Promoting yourself in a way that is unique to yourself is your best method of advertising. There are many people in this world but we are all individuals and our ideas are as different as the person or people nearest to us.

Relationships are one of the most important areas where we need to be authentic. Trying to hide things from our nearest and dearest is not a sensible way to live. They need to know how we feel and what we think and vice versa. Without it, communication difficulties can commence and we end up feeling separated from them and a wall builds up between us and them. This is not a sensible way to live.

Authenticity I believe is the most important factor in our lives but is not always an easy way to live. Sometimes we find ourselves not living the authentic life we know we should. But when we realize this, all we have to do becomes mindful of how we behave and express ourselves and try to be as truthful as we can in every way.

authentic, lifestyle, passion

What is your passion?

This has been a question for me for SO long – what is my passion? I have been getting to know things I liked but didn’t actually know what my real passion was.

I love doing creative and making beautiful things. But it didn’t equate to lighting that fire of passion inside me. So how could I find what really lit me up?

On Wednesday evening I was talking to my mentor/coach, Linda Clay of Capture Your Passion on Facebook. I have been doing some commissioned digital artwork and as we were talking together, I was describing my next commissioned piece and discovered I was lighting up inside.

What struck me about it was the fact that I hadn’t realised how absorbing and rewarding I have found doing this work. I actually fell into it by accident when a friend asked me if I could design something for one of her clients. Then she asked me if I could do a piece for her, which I completed.

Doing this work has been a blessing to me. I have learnt much about different digital art packages and what is most useful to create a beautiful piece of work.

There has been so much that I have learned doing this commissioned artwork. It has become a real joy in my life. Art has opened doors that I didn’t even know existed.

Once I had realised what my passion was, I wanted to work out WHY I was so passionate about it. What was/is it that makes the difference to me?

What I really love is the fact that someone can give me a general idea of what they want and I can give birth to their concept. As I create, I show them each part and fine tune each part of their concept so that I give them exactly what they want.

The final artwork can be sent to the client online as a digital piece of work or it can be put onto canvas, or photographic paper, or even onto glass. What I love about this is the diversity that is opened up to me when I create the digital artwork and bring their concept to life.

My passion is so rewarding to me. I know my mentor/coach Linda’s passion is to give women the opportunity to find their passion and improve their lives. So we both benefited by the discovery on Wednesday.

Do you need a life coach to find your passion? Possibly not. You could list all the things you are good at or love and think which one of them lights you up. When your whole soul feels alive with joy and you know THIS is what you want to do and would do forever if you could, you have found your passion.

boundaries, lifestyle, mindset, self-care

Boundaries for your life

Physical, mental and emotional boundaries are an important part of our lives. Without them, immense damage can erupt in our lives, hearts and minds.

When a child is little, you put up boundaries in their life to keep them safe. Things like gates appear in your home so that they cannot fall down the stairs for instance. Or a car seat to keep them safe while you are driving. These are boundaries that a child can perceive to be negative but you know that they are preventing something bad from happening.

In December 2008, I left a situation that was terrible to come to Scotland. To keep myself safe, I had to set up a number of boundaries. For example, I put in place a mail forwarding process for 6 months so that I could still be reached, but on my own terms. This was very much done as a preventative measure, even though at times I didn’t feel safe.

You can also set up mental boundaries. If you find dealing with a particular person draining, or discover that although you appear to get on well with them, you defer to them and their opinion even though you know what to do, it is wise to set up a mental boundary. Sometimes, as much as you love a person, they are not good for someone of your personality, it is wise to set up mental boundaries so that you can function to the best of your ability.

Emotional boundaries are more difficult. Not in the sense that you should cut off all feeling or emotion. If you do that, your emotions are shut down inside and it leaves you separated from the world around you. That is not a good thing to do at all. Internalising your feelings impacts you physically and you end up sick because of the strain this leaves in your body.

Sometimes a boundary is simply saying “no.” You can be so busy doing things for other people that you neglect your own self-care. I tend to find that I say yes to the wrong thing and my physical health suffers because of it. When we had the van, I kept saying to myself and others that I would drive it to get around, but it was draining all my energy and I was ending up sick. I am trying to view it as saying yes to myself and not as a no to others.

Do I get my boundaries right all the time? Not at all. I don’t think anyone does. However, it is something that can be worked on and developed in your life circumstances and situation. You can improve your quality of life when you do have boundaries in place.