Body shaming or acceptance

I was watching Mass today on EWTN and the priest in his homily was talking about body shaming. It got me thinking about how the media portrays how they perceive people should look.

Body shaming is unhelpful and can lead to people becoming unhealthy and not giving their bodies enough fuel to function properly. This then causes problems at their work or in their home as they cannot perform the jobs they normally do.

When you think about it though, I believe it is important to not allow these beliefs to infiltrate your life. If you have a child and they see you either talking negatively about how people look, they may start to wonder if they look “ok” or not and attempt to become what they believe you want.

At the end of the day, how you look is not important in the grand scheme of things. You can be the most gorgeous looking person on the planet but have a terrible attitude and always attempt to shame others because of how you think. This is unhelpful and causes such stress and distress to others.

The character you have and portray and how you treat others, is much more important than how you look. Having said that, you do have a responsibility to take care of yourself and your body. You cannot sit there, stuffing your face all day and then say that it doesn’t matter if your character is good.

You only get one body in this life and you need to take care of it. Yes, you may be what people consider to be an unhealthy weight, but if you are taking care of yourself and living a good life, so that you are healthy, you are taking care of what you have.

Having said all that, I had a disability where my face basically needed reconstruction. I had to have a number of operations to fix the problems. Sometimes this can happen and it’s ok to get the problems fixed. It doesn’t change who you are inside – your character remains the same.

In life, you need to be able to accept yourself and others around you. No man is an island living totally isolated from everybody else. You impact the people around you at work and at home with your character and personality.

So what you need to do is take care of yourself and not allow yourself to be persuaded by the media that what they portray is necessarily how you should be. For years I struggled with how I looked but now that I am older, I understand that I need to accept myself and how I am. How I look is not important but I need to make the best of myself in every way and be the best me I can be.

Do you accept yourself how you are and others around you? Acceptance, understanding and speaking/writing nicely about others and yourself is the important thing in life. I would love to hear from you if any of what I have said resonates with you.

Fear of action

Fear of action is something that can happen to anyone. I was surprised last night to see my husband anxious as he is generally such a calm person. He was fearful of some exercises that had been given to him. In 2010 he broke his hip and his knees dislocate quite easily and some of the exercises would possibly put too much stress on them.

It got me thinking about how fear stops me at times. I get nervous about doing things and sometimes this can cause me problems because I then procrastinate and let the fear prevent me from taking action.

One thing that has been scaring me is creating mandalas. It’s something I have wanted to do, but found it hard to begin. I let the fear of making a terrible mistake or doing it wrong or not being able to do it at all stop me from starting.

Yesterday I decided to give it a try and create a mandala. However, I wasn’t sure what package to use. I tried to create it in the Graphic app but I knew it was going to be a hard job doing one in there and making sure everything was equal and looked exactly the same.

In the evening, Kevin said to me why didn’t I look on YouTube and see someone else creating one? I had let the fear of action stop me from looking at YouTube. I know people look at it every day and the fear was irrational but it was still there.

Anyway, with Kevin sitting there next to me, I managed to open up YouTube and have a look at what scared me. In point of fact, there was nothing for me to be concerned about – the fear of action had stopped me doing something I wanted to do but I changed that last night.

Where do you find you let fear of action rule you? Do you want to let it go? Is it an irrational fear like mine was? Or is there a reason behind it?

Perfectionism and Procrastination

Perfectionism and procrastination can go hand in hand, but not always. When you are a perfectionist, you want everything to look right and be right and show the best of yourself to everyone you meet.

There are lots of different ways to be a perfectionist. Sometimes it is in how you express yourself whether with the written word, or the spoken. That doesn’t mean it is wrong to be this way.

It is right to be a perfectionist in some jobs or roles in life. Imagine if you were reading a newspaper with lots of tiny mistakes in it or sending you to the wrong page for carrying on a news story. You would get very frustrated really quickly. So in this instance, you want the editors and proof readers to be perfectionist in what they do.

Another job that demands perfection is coding in computers. If you get one digit or letter incorrect, it can change a whole programme. Again, you want people that can be quick and accurate.

However, there are times when perfectionism can lead to procrastination. You may want something you do to be absolutely perfect and that is an excellent thing to desire but when it means you delay in starting it for fear of getting it wrong, it has caused you a problem.

Procrastination can sometimes be helpful. If you need to make an important choice it can be better to procrastinate. I remember when I was going to get married, I wanted to choose a dress that was “ok” because I didn’t know if I would find a better one. However, I am glad I procrastinated and went to a wedding shop with my bridesmaid and got the “perfect” dress.

I like things to be perfect, but I often find that this leads to me not attempting something or stopping when I make a mistake. It’s not an easy thing to overcome but if I know there is a mistake and nobody else does, it’s not the end of the world.

Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, but it doesn’t always. Are you a perfectionist? Does it hinder or help you? If wanting things to be perfect causes you to procrastinate then maybe just going ahead and doing something might be the best way for you to start to beat it.

The Need to be Real

Don’t you think there is always a need to be real in life? Sometimes people portray something of themselves that isn’t true. You can see/hear/read the falsity in what is shown but it feels impossible to get into their reality.

Personally I hate seeing posts that suggest you can earn 6 figures in six weeks or six months because you just need to follow their formula. Actually, that isn’t true. You have not put in the years of work, blood, sweat and tears before they got to the six weeks.

Honesty is the best policy in any situation. Finding the words that express what you want to say without causing offence or upset can be difficult. There are times I have struggled to do this and I am sure you can think of times it has been true for you too.

If you read my blog regularly, you would have noticed I didn’t post this last Wednesday. My days for posting is Sunday and Wednesday. Unfortunately my depression has been building again for some weeks and I finally admitted it and am going to see the doctor next week.

It was hard for me to face the fact I was depressed again. I already take medication but had to admit that it wasn’t working right now. There was no motivation to do anything and so I missed writing on Wednesday. But you know what? Admitting it and arranging to get the help I need has really helped me.

One of the reasons I started the attitude of gratitude is because it helps when you get that depressed to look and see things that you can be grateful for. Being thankful for specific things helps to bring your mood up.

Personally I find being grateful for something specific is better than something general. If I can look at whet I am grateful for and not just a general idea it really helps me.

The need to be real is not to give a false impression to others but to be honest and truthful. When you have an attitude of gratitude it paves the way for you to see good even in a bad day. That doesn’t mean there won’t be days that you struggle with – circumstances happen and how you face them impacts how you see the world.