knowing someone, labelling, lifestyle, real

Knowing someone or knowing someone?

‘’Knowing someone or knowing someone? I have been thinking about different levels of knowing people – friendship, family, acquaintance, partner, life partner, people you have maybe seen on the tv or in books or magazines but you haven’t met them and have no anticipation of being able to meet them.

Anyway, I thought I would start with the Queen. Now I know ABOUT her, the things I read, what I have seen on the TV, what she shares publicly and the letter I got for sending her a poem on her Golden Jubilee. I know a lot about her BUT I do not know her or plan to meet her. I know quite a lot about her but I don’t know what she does with her private life other than what she is willing to share. I have no idea how she relates to her family in private or public.

On the other hand, the total opposite of that is Kevin, the man I married and plan to spend my life with “until death do us part.” With him I know what there is to know about him – the closest to someone you can ever be in life. This is the total opposite to what I know about the Queen. Kevin and I know each other personally and nobody knows us as well as we do, not even our son Johnathan.

Now you also have acquaintances – both in business and personal life. This kind of relationship are people that you meet in life but you don’t actually get to know them. You have more of a nodding acquaintance with them than anything else. You may or may not have seen them but you basically know of their existence and can talk to them on a basic level.

And then we have friendship – let’s start with those you know in real life first. There are different levels of friendship that you have with people and some of them you will share one or more aspects of your life. Sometimes you will share the same kind of information with a person as another, but because they are different, you will share your lives in different ways.

But some you meet online, in social media and it is a different relationship altogether. You don’t often plan to meet them in real life so sometimes that makes people more likely to share information and sometimes less likely. It depends on who you are and who they are.

Lastly we come to family. Just because someone is family, doesn’t mean you know them and vice versa. I can say I don’t know all of my family members – probably the same can be said of everyone in the world. In fact, if you want the honest truth, I can say that I never really knew my family members. My husband and our son are the people I have the closest relationship with in the world. And I would say the feeling is mutual with the two of them.

So when you think about knowing someone or knowing someone, you need to decide the level or type of friendship you would like or can have with them. I cannot ring the Queen up and chat to her about the craftwork I do. However, I can speak to friends either online or in person about crafts and it is a mutual joy shared.

Knowing someone comes with many different levels. Am I able to have the same friendship with two people? No. We are all unique and so will have different friendships with every person in the world. What you need to do is decide the level you would like with another person and see if they feel the same way about you and want that level of friendship or not.

Have you ever thought you wanted a certain level of friendship with somebody else and then discovered they don’t want that same level of friendship with you? Personally, I have been disappointed with friendship when the other person simply doesn’t want the level of communication I would like to have or vice versa.

Attitude, focus, gratitude, importance, life, lifestyle, mindset, positive, Thoughts, view

Focus on the positive in life

Thoughts can be life changing and we need to focus on the positive in life. It is possible to reframe what we believe and live a life that looks for the positive in things. There are circumstances that happen and initially can seem devastating but there is always something good to be found in it.

Having suffered with depression on and off through my life, it is comforting to know that I can change what I think in a more positive way. I don’t want to be negative and live a suspicious life where I believe every person I meet is against me.

One of the things you will have noticed that I do is write a grateful post every day of the week. If I miss a day or two I do catch up with it. An attitude of gratitude is a great thing to cultivate in your life. It helps you to find the positive things that happen every day.

Do you know that when something changes in life, your attention is drawn to it? You begin to see it a lot more around you, in the people you meet and the place you live in? This can happen whether what you see is positive or negative.

Personally, I want to live a full and satisfying life and be able to focus on the positive. Yes, things in life happen and circumstances change but that doesn’t mean you can’t see a positive in it. Sometimes we have to look harder to find a good thing and that’s ok.

Today my son taught me a lesson. He was playing in the kitchen and came running to tell me the sky was pink. He was so excited to see it! Made me remember the joy we can have in little things. They don’t have to be big to be positive or encourage a grateful attitude, even a small thing. It doesn’t need to be a life changing event. Johnathan found something to be grateful for and it reminded me of the beauty of sunsets no matter what season of the year we are in.

You can make a choice today to try and focus on the positive and the good things in life. I’m not saying you’ll get it right away – you won’t. And I’m not telling you that you will be able to find the positive in the circumstances you find yourself in. The choice is yours and if you make that choice, sometimes you will slip back to the old way of thinking and that’s ok. As long as you remember nothing is perfect, and that you can try again, that’s ok.

Who wants to continue on this journey with me? I have been trying to live this way for some time and would love for you to join me in the quest for a good, fulfilled, positive life. Do come join my facebook group Anika’s HeART and Crafts where we can discuss what living a positive, fulfilled and complete life means. I look forward to seeing you there.

Attitude, mindset, Thoughts, view

Mindset

I have been thinking about mindsets and how we believe things because someone we see as having authority or knowledge has told us something. It is not that we have thought about it ourselves and come up with the idea, we just follow it (sometimes blindly) and never think about it.

Believing something because you KNOW it to be true is different from having a core belief that you don’t question because you think it has always been there or someone told you it was that way and you never had reason to doubt they were right.

Let me give you an example from my life. I had lots of different illnesses and physical issues – one of which was only being able to open my mouth one inch in total. This was impacting the rest of my body and causing many different things to happen. I went to see lots of different doctors and dentists and probably other ones as well but I can’t remember who they were and none of them had the answer.

Because I wasn’t getting an answer, the suggestion was that I had Munchausens and that I needed psychiatric help because my physical problems were all in my mind. I let this become a belief of mine because I was told it by people “in authority” but it wasn’t actually true.

Eventually we discovered that I needed my whole face reconstructed and that would take a lot of surgeries to correct being spaced out over a year. So that blew the whole concept of me having Munchausens out of the water.

You know what? It doesn’t have to be something as big as that mindset needing changing. It could be something really small and almost invisible. But if that changed you would have a life that was fulfilling and rewarding. Not everybody has such a massive mindset change that large, and that’s ok. I needed to know there WAS a physical reason for what I was going through and it wasn’t mental.

Changing your mindset is not something that is done easily or lightly. Sometimes they are beliefs that you have had from when you were a child that you don’t even remember being taught them, or they are ones that have come to you later in life and you just accept them because they seem authoritative.

The first important step you need to take is to look at those beliefs and work out if they are true or not. If they are NOT true, you need to reframe your thoughts and remember to tell yourself the new thought that you want embedded in your brain whenever you see the old thought returning. The good thing is that you CAN rewire your brain to a more positive way of thinking. You don’t need to hold onto the old belief that doesn’t help you in the long run.

So, with that being said, what mindsets do you need to change? Please do leave a comment for me and I will respond as soon as possible.

Attitude, authentic, challenges, Confidence, courage, Finding yourself, lifestyle, mindset, passion, safe place, Thoughts, view

Finding Yourself

Finding yourself is a topic that could go on forever, but today I want to bring a few things to your attention from when I found myself. When I moved to Scotland I had no memory of the past. Everything was different and I knew I needed to find myself. But how to go about it was not immediately clear.

One of the things I did was to change my name. I wanted one where the meaning of it connected to God. Anika means a gift of God’s favour and Bathia is daughter of God. This gave me a link to someone/something bigger than myself and brought me peace.

I’m not saying that you need to change your name to find yourself. It was my pathway in life but may not be yours and that’s OK. Nobody follows another’s path in life. Though you may have the same experiences as someone else, you will both respond to them differently because of different experiences in the past.

Finding myself from that blankness has taken 9 years. And there have been people that have come and gone in that time. And some that have been in my life over that whole period. You know what? That’s OK, too.

I have discovered that my passion is to create digital intuitive artwork for others. After Christmas I was attempting to do a piece and it just simply wasn’t working, or satisfying me so I changed it. And the client is totally happy with what I produced.

When you discover yourself and your passion, developing your talents and gifts is a wonderful way to express our purpose in the world. We are not here to just please ourselves but to be a blessing to others.

Have you found your passion yet or are you still on the journey to find yourself? I would love to hear from you. The journey will continue until death but knowing who you are, what you are here for and following that to bless others is what we are made for. We are all unique and finding yourself can be quite a challenge.