Lifestyle

No Friends, So What to do Now?

I have been sharing the story of how I completely changed my life. To catch up, read Part 1 and Part 2 right here.

So here I was, with my new life up in Scotland with literally no friends. What on earth was I to do to make some? This is the downside of moving and starting again, but I tell you, if the same circumstances happened again, I would do exactly the same thing.

I do not, have not, and will not regret the decision I made to start my life again.

It was a fast but great move, the best choice I ever made in my life.

When I arrived in Scotland, because of traffic I was slightly too late to move straight into the new property I was renting. I didn’t know if I would have to find a hotel that would take myself and my cat Mia for the night, but the pastor found a couple that took us in until I was properly settled. This was a massive blessing to me because I didn’t have anywhere to go and had never stayed anywhere with my cat other than my flat in England.

I was very grateful that the woman I stayed with took me out for that first Saturday evening to a restaurant to meet some of the other ladies in the church. Although I was a little overwhelmed, I ended up sitting next to someone who knew where I would be living, as she lived a few streets away she was happy to show me where everything was nearby us.

Learning My New Area

My new acquaintance was as good as her word. She came and collected me and drove me round to show me where things were so that I could get a grip on my bearings. It was wonderful that she was able to help me, being new to the area. So now I knew 3 people in my new life and I had no idea how to find other people to make new friends.

But how was I going to find some new more friends?

I didn’t want to have just 3 people that I was friendly with. And where do you find people in a completely new area? I didn’t have a handbook of what you should do. In fact, I honestly had no idea but knew I wanted to know some other people in Scotland. Well, there was one option – going around the neighbors, knocking on their doors and saying that I had just moved up and wanted a friend? But that idea just didn’t appeal to me.

The other option I considered, which I much preferred, was to see if I could find some friends via the internet. I was aware that there are many dangers to finding people online. But I thought if I don’t put my address or my real name, surely I would be safe? There were many dating sites but none that answered my need to find friends directly. However, some of the relationship sites offered the opportunity to make friends with others, without dating. So I thought I would join a few of them and see what happened. Quite honestly I didn’t believe I was ready to find a life partner.

Protecting Myself While Making Friends

Truth to tell, I was not sure if this was the right or wrong thing to do. I had kept myself as safe as I could by not using my own name and by not giving any address out. All I let made known was that I was somewhere near Glasgow. I only had 3 people that ever wrote to me on all of these sites. There was one person who wanted me to come off the site straight away and exchange phone numbers. But it was something that the sites counselled against, so I told him no and the second man who answered, I didn’t like the way he wrote but the third person who wrote to me I thought ‘yeah, ok, I’ll chat to him, as I like the way he writes. But I’m not really looking to meet up.’ I was really worried about the prospect.

We became excellent friends online, talking to each other about anything and everything and he helped me so much. But when he suggested we meet in public on a Sunday afternoon, I was terrified. All sorts of scenarios popped through my head. But I was persuaded to go and we sat together talking for 6 hours! In fact, we got asked twice how long we had been married – and this was the first time we had met!

You Never Know Who You Will Meet

And you know what? None of those bad scenarios happened. He was a lovely man who was caring and gentle and kind. We got to know each other really well, so quickly. He understood me more than I did myself and reassured me through nightmares and flashbacks and helped me to begin finding myself. In fact, I am married to Kevin and we have been together for 10 years altogether.

Now I’m not saying you’ll find your soulmate. I don’t know if you will or not. But try something new. Make new friends. Good things can and will happen. There are blessings everywhere – you just need to find them.

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