As you are probably aware, meeting the prospective in-laws is quite a daunting prospect. And you never know if you will get on with them or not. Also if you will have any shared interests or not. It is great to think that everything will be ok, but as you know, that can often be unrealistic because you are meeting new people with no concept of what to expect.
Adjusting to My New Life
Because I had left my old life behind me when I moved up to Scotland, I decided to get my name changed legally. So they weren’t even sure what name to call me by! They had the name I had chosen for the site on which I met Kevin, my old name and now my new name. How confused they must have felt. Honestly, I don’t envy them at all. When your child (even if they are an adult) meets someone they might be interested in marrying, you worry. And when that child is disabled, the fear is greatly magnified.
Having only been in Scotland for less than six months I still wasn’t very sure of myself at the time. When I moved I discovered that I couldn’t remember my past. My previous life was just a blank. It was something that happened, but what it was I literally had no idea. This seemed really strange to me, but I just added it to the things I didn’t understand from the past and tried to move on.
My Buffer with My In-Laws
So here we were meeting with all of us being uncertain and fearful except my husband. He was relaxed and totally prepared to deal with anything that came up between his parents and I. At one point my future father-in-law said that he had ordered the pork with the messages. I sat there completely mystified as to haw a telephone message had combined with pork.
Kevin saw that I was confused and explained to me that messages was shopping. Oh! Now that made sense. There have been so many words that I have encountered here in Scotland and have confused me, because they mean something completely different to what I have known all my life.
I noticed that my mother-in-law was quite shaky as she handed out what she called “white meat” sandwiches. She didn’t know what to call me and wasn’t sure how to take me. I must admit, I probably was not what she wanted for her son. They had brought him up and cared for him and suddenly he wanted to bring another person into their lives that he might even marry.
Then & Now
It has taken me many years to understand my in-laws. I am not naturally a patient person, but I am interested in other people. Now my mother-in-law and I get on pretty well. She has an understanding of crafts that I have no concept of and we now get on pretty well and talk to each other via imessage almost every day now.
From fear and trepidation on each side to a pretty good relationship with my mother-in-law has been a great transformation. It can be made possible that you can build a good relationship with your mother-in-law. So don’t look at relationships as being impossible to do, try and find and create them with people who have some different interests to yours as well as some similar ones. You will learn new things and some things will really surprise you.