The other day one of my friends put in her group “He calls me beautiful one.” She was referring to how God thinks about us. It made me feel really good inside thinking about it.
Actually, it reminds me of when I first came up to Scotland and met Kevin.
When he first started to tell me how beautiful I was, I really tried to push the thought away. I probably pushed Kevin away with it too. In fact, one of the first times he said it to me was after emergency surgery when we had been together just 3 weeks. I was lying in the hospital bed, being sick. He was holding the sick bowl and stroking my hair and telling me I was so beautiful.
At the time, I was just unaccepting of anything positive about myself. And although I realised that it meant he really loved me but I still didn’t believe him. He would refer to me as his beautiful bride on our wedding day and say that I deserved things. I still didn’t want to believe it.
Many a time I would even stop him from saying it because I seriously just didn’t want to believe it.
Over the years, as I have started working on my confidence and self-esteem, I have begun to believe it. In fact, when I saw the post yesterday, I just had a warm glow in my heart to know and accept that God loved me and called me beautiful.
I wasn’t trying to push the knowledge away anymore.
So wonderful to see and realise that the work I have done on myself has not been in vain. I have come to a place where I believe what is said to me and don’t push it away anymore. It’s not been a fast process, but you know what?