Acceptance, baby loss

Baby loss awareness month

Photo courtesy of Vinelrapy

This month of October is baby loss and breast cancer awareness month. They can impact men, women and children and both of them bring heartbreak in their wake.

For me, I suppose you would say that baby loss has impacted me more than breast cancer. I now have five babies in heaven – four before I had a successful pregnancy with Johnathan and one after him. Each loss impacted Kevin and I in different ways and we grieve for each baby.

There are many charities for baby loss. Some people take what happens for them and try to use it for good for other people who go through baby loss themselves. It is different to other deaths in the world because you don’t lose somebody you know in the flesh, you lose your hopes and dreams for the children you thought would be with you in this life.

I don’t know if you are aware that baby loss happens to 1 in 4 women at the moment. In fact, that is a very conservative figure because in it isn’t counted early baby loss. You can lose a baby at any stage in a pregnancy.

One thing we do to remember our babies is participate in what is called “The Wave of Light.” On the 15 of October between 7 and 8pm people light candles to celebrate the short lives of their babies in the womb. Basically, if everyone does this, there will be a continuous wave of light in the world.

There are many ways and reasons babies do not survive in the womb but one thing you need to hold onto if it happens to you is that there is nothing you could have done better or differently to keep that life within you. Please don’t accept guilt for this occurrence because it happens.

Each life is a gift no matter whether that life comes to stay on earth or not. If you know someone who has lost a baby, don’t be afraid to speak the name of that child, if the parents have named them. This lets them know that you are remembering their child and is a precious gift to them.

This month Kevin and I remember our babies, Beatrice, Natalie, Alan, David and Dorothy and all the other babies from friends of ours who have lost them. If you would like to remember these children then please join in the wave of light on 15 October and put photos on social media so that people know you remember their children in heaven.