I have a Dream – Martin Luther King Jr.


I have a dream. Not the one that Martin Luther King Jnr had, but one of my own. There are so many dreams that you have as a child – some that are almost impossible (like becoming a princess) and others that are more realistic, like becoming a nurse or doctor.

However, childhood dreams do not always come to pass. And sometimes those dreams grow and morph into something else entirely. Does that mean it is wrong to dream as a child? Should you stop your children dreaming? Of course not! Dreams help the creativity side of a child develop and you never know where they could end up in life.

One of my dreams as a child was to be a ballet dancer. We took classes when I was small – can’t remember how old I was, but it was discovered very quickly that I did not possess the co-ordination or the height needed to become one. So that idea I had of myself was never going to come to pass.

I also wanted to have a horse of my own and ride it but that was equally unrealistic. I believe it was in my pre-teen years that I learnt to ride. This I was good at and enjoyed it but again it was not sustainable as a career for me.

You probably had your own ideas of what you wanted to be when you grew up. And probably, like me, a number of different things that were unrealistic in your circumstances or way of life. But that’s ok. We need to have these dreams or visions to help us form our imagination or creative side of our brains.

As you get older, you learn what is possible and probable in your life. You don’t have to stay stagnant in what you do, but can grow and develop yourself as you go through different situations and circumstances.

However, one thing is necessary and many think of it as uncomfortable to mention – you have to mourn or grieve the impossible life you imagined in your youth or young adulthood. People don’t like to talk about it, but it’s a necessary part of learning to accept yourself and your situation as you are.

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to settle for what you have in the present. You can still have a dream or a vision for your future. For many years, I thought my vision was just going to fall in my lap at the right time. But it’s not going to be like that. You have to work at getting it set up so that you will be ready when the time comes for its fruition.

When you have a dream or vision for your future, it needs to be realistic but push you out of your comfort zone. For example, if you say you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year by winning the lottery, it COULD happen but it’s highly unlikely to happen. If you said you wanted to make an extra hundred dollars by doing some extra or different work to your normal job, that is much more realistic and you are capable of achieving it if you plan and work at getting it done.

There is more to life than where you are at time moment. Are you going to prepare yourself for what you dream about? Or will you sit where you are and say it should come to pass on its own without me working for it? You have the choice to make it happen or not.

Dreams

The dreams you have as a child
Are not always meant to come to pass
Some of them will come true
But your life will be transformed.

You think you will do many things
Imagining things that bring forth dreams
And not considering what you have
Or your life now as an adult.

So many things I wanted to be
But my life path has been different
I went down a stranger road
Than the one I had imagined.

However, some dreams do come true
And you find your life made whole
They may be unexpected
But you can make a happy life.

Take your ideas and see what happens
Which ones you can bring forth
They will mark your way in life
And complete you totally.

Big Life Lesson

This week has been a big life lesson for me. Kevin had the flu (the real thing) and with his condition I knew there was the possibility of him getting a secondary infection and that could have produced a LOT of problems for us.

With Kevin unable to contribute to the household in any way, all the duties fell to me. I was all on my own and just as this time the Carer’s Centre told me they couldn’t come and help me at all until he had finished his medication. They had a duty of care to the workers and the other clients.

What surprised us was how he even managed to get the flu in the first place as 1. he hadn’t been out anywhere and 2. he had the flu injection last year as he always does. No matter how it looked, he was literally unable to do anything.

Not only that but there is mould in my son’s bedroom and we cannot let him sleep in there until it is sorted. So life was rather different for both of us and with Johnathan on the spectrum, he didn’t handle the changes well.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, basically, I had reached the conclusion that I couldn’t do a lot physically because of my fibromyalgia but actually I learnt this week that I am capable of SO much more than I believed.

Kevin is almost back to his normal health thank goodness and I am ok. This was a big life lesson to me and I realised that although I did things round the house and for our family, the balance of work has basically fallen onto Kevin.

I was chatting to my mentor, Linda Clay, telling her what an awful person I was and how terrible I must be. She told me that I mustn’t do that to myself and that it is a big life lesson to me. I can’t change the past or predict the future. All we have is now and what we do with what is given us.

Right now, all I have is the ability to be mindful and not let the lion’s share of the work fall on my husband. We are both disabled and used to do everything together and we have now started doing that agin. It makes such a difference when you share the load equally.

I love my wee family and will do what they need. What big life lesson have you had that made you change everything you did?

The Summer of Life

The summer of life. What a beautiful statement to be able to make. Just think about it a bit. Summer is beautiful and warm and refreshing. You can sit outside and just soak up the sun’s rays.

So exactly what do we get in this season of life? The vision of summer conjures up images of people on rivers or canals in some kind of boat. Or maybe you’re not that kind of person. Perhaps you like the beach? Or do you go exploring?

Kevin and I love nothing more than to pick a place on the map and tell the navigation to ignore all motorways. We have discovered beautiful countryside this way. And met some lovely people doing different crafting things.

Summer holidays are also part of the equation of it all. Children have a break during this period and they mostly love it! This is a beautiful time where they are able to grow and explore and learn and develop without the constraints of the classroom.

But what about the summer of life? The one within your heart and soul? It is a time where you get to rejoice at the beauty surrounding you as the plants and trees bear fruit. This is not the time for gathering it all up – it needs to grow to full fruition.

My summer of life is wild and exciting. I am looking forward to the full beauty at the end of the summer and the beginning of autumn where we begin to gather the fruit in and store it up for the season that is coming.

You might wonder how I know this is the season of life that I am in. Well, I will tell you. My winter season has been and gone, the leanness of nothing within is past. Spring entered my soul and I can point to the places where small seeds began to sprout. Now I am starting to know and understand things I never did before. I am beginning to see ideas spring from my mind and learn the beauty of colour and words and shape and form.

Are you also in the summer of your life? What can you see emerging from the seeds that were planted during the springtime? Your life is important and precious and I would love to hear from you.

Being authentic

I must admit, it’s not always easy to be authentic. Sometimes we just don’t want to be visible as we are. Other times we want to be more like others and live the dream that they have. The idea of being your true, real self seems a dream or a nightmare depending on what way you view it.

For most of my life, I wasn’t authentic with very many. In fact, very few people knew who I was, what I wanted or how I would like things. To be honest with you, I didn’t have a clue about myself either. I did know a couple of things about myself – one was that I lived with pain and would love to have energy, the second was that I couldn’t live up to anyone’s expectations, least of all my own!

When I moved to Scotland, one of the big things that I wanted to accomplish was discovering who I was. How that was going to look in reality, I had literally no idea! What did I like and what did I want? If you had asked me those questions when I first arrived, I would have looked at you blankly and said, Not a clue!

Meeting Kevin online was one of the best things that happened in my new, unawakened self. We could ask each other questions, wait for the replies and take time over our responses. When we first met in person, we knew so much about each other already, we didn’t need any introductions but were able to settle into a very comfortable friendship straight away and felt like we had known each other for years.

I think in those early years, Kevin knew a lot more about me than I knew about myself. Now I am beginning to know myself and what I like and don’t like. At one point, I went to an art group just for something to do and discovered that actually I could do art. In fact, it was something I could enjoy. Over the years, my focus in my artistic endeavours has shifted. I have discovered I do not enjoy creating traditional pieces. But you know what? That’s ok.

Being authentic or real with myself has led me to discover surprising things. They may or may not be what i expect, but learning about yourself is an ever evolving process. As things change in your life, so do your interests and habits.

One thing I did wonder was if I actually enjoyed reading or if it was just something I did as a child and young adult but wasn’t really something I actually enjoyed. Now I can say that although I like reading, it’s not the be all and end all of my existence as it used to be.

Religion (or lack of it) can often be a stumbling block to many a marriage or any kind of relationship. When Kevin and I got together, we went to each other’s churches. He was Catholic and I thought maybe I was Pentecostal but again something I wasn’t certain of. It took me a number of years to realise that actually Catholicism held the answers that I had been searching for all my life.

You might be wondering why I am telling you all this. I thought it was a weird topic to tackle, but on and off throughout the day I have seen or heard something about being authentic. I was going to go to sleep but then realised instead of a poem, this was what was in my mind and before I could sleep, I needed to write all this down.

Authenticity of person in any area of your life is great, but none more needed in today’s business world. You can be the cookie cutter type and do things the way someone else has done or you can carve out your own path.

Living and journeying in your own unique way will prove to everyone that you are as real in life as online. Yes, this might be scary, but that’s ok. It can be scary to let people know the real you, warts and all. Trying to hide the truth not only from yourself, but also from others never ends well.

Being open and authentic doesn’t mean that you have to tell people what you have for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. If you want to and meals and the preparation of them is important to you, that’s ok, then go do it. But not everyone wants to do this. For me, it would be my idea of hell, but someone else finds it their piece of heaven.

There are so many facets in life and one area does not make the whole person. We are not one-dimensional people. Everyone has a passion for life in a different way. We are all unique individuals. I couldn’t work magic on computers like my husband Kevin and I certainly am not a market trader. If I was selling in the market, I would find it just as boring as working with computers. Neither of them ignite my passion.

So what is your passion? In order to live that life of authenticity, it is good to know. Living a lie doesn’t help you, those around you or those who will find you in the future. Being real about who you are and your likes and dislikes is a good place to start. Once you begin to discover who you really are, you can then live a much clearer and concise life because that will reveal to others what the real, authentic you is.

Is there anything about being authentic that I have missed or you would have added? Please feel free to let me know.

Thanks

Anika