So what flavour are you?

What flavour are you? I read a post someone put in a group on Facebook the other day and that talked about flavours of ice cream and that she had tried to be vanilla ice cream because most other ice cream flavours are built on the basis of this one ice cream. What she began to realise is that you can’t be vanilla ice cream to everyone.

Personally, my immediate choice was chocolate because that’s what I love but then I suddenly stopped and thought “Am I really? Is that how I would describe myself?”

As I began to think, I realised I wasn’t chocolate flavour after all. If you were talking about my past life, then yes you might have believed me to be that, but that wasn’t actually me.

Now I would say I am actually honeycomb flavour ice cream. Sweet and a bit crunchy and a little different. I am an intuitive artist and my life has gone a different direction to the way I had imagined.

But you know what? I am happy being a honeycomb flavour ice cream. This may not have been the life I expected, but I have a wonderful husband, a son, 3 cats and 1 dog and 5 babies in heaven. A totally difference experience, but I am not what I was.

Actually, as we grow and develop in life, I wonder if we change flavours of ice cream? No, I think it is the toppings that change as we grow and develop in life. We have our character and personality in us from when we are in the womb. What changes isn’t the stuff that makes us who we are, but the externals can make us appear to be something we are not.

So what flavour of ice cream are you? Chocolate? Honeycomb? Orange? Lemon? At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. What you are makes you unique and nobody in the world is exactly like you. Even if you have identical twins, they are not the same just because they look alike.

You just need to express yourself as you are. Don’t try to be someone else. It won’t fit right on you. If you’re smooth chocolate, don’t try to be chocolate chips flavour. People will feel that you are being false. They won’t know why or how but they will know something is off.

So go on out there and be the flavour you are. Don’t let someone try to convince you otherwise. You won’t be best friends with everyone you meet, and that’s ok. Your character and personality need to stand out. Learn to love and accept exactly who you are.

Conformity or not?

Conformity can be such an easy thing to do, makes you appear to be like everybody else and you get the “benefit” of being accepted into a certain group – maybe but not always. Going with the flow is much easier than saying “no” and being different.

There are many ways of conforming that are more for practical reasons – for example, dressing appropriately to work. If you work as a personal trainer coming to work in a suit would be completely inappropriate.

If you want to be accepted by a certain group, you may adopt everything they say and do but your conformity may not produce the results you want. Sometimes the group will decide against you before you have made the changes and so refuse to accept you. Conformity in this situation doesn’t help you.

There are certain circumstances where you would do well to conform. If you go and see the Queen of England, for example, you would be expected to dress a certain way and behave in a particular manner. You can’t just walk up to her and start a conversation. There are rules and etiquette in place so that the monarch is able to spend a short amount of time with each one.

I used to live in a community where conformity was expected. In some areas I did conform but not in every one. If I didn’t agree with something I was meant to say or do I simply wouldn’t. One time we had gone out in a big group and everyone was meant to go on a zip wire. I don’t like things like that so I just point blank refused to do it.

When I moved to Scotland I came alone partly because I was sick and tired of trying to conform. I didn’t want to leave with anyone else. This was a time when conformity, for me, wasn’t even a slight consideration. I was moving to Scotland to start a new and different life, not continue with the old one.

Once I was in Scotland, there were no rules or procedures to follow. I could do what I liked. Nobody expected anything of me. The freedom this gave me was almost overwhelming at first. Decision fatigue hit very quickly in those early days. Some days I almost wished for someone to come and tell me exactly what to do!

There is always conformity expected in religion whether spoken or not. Some churches, like the Catholic one, have them written out and have done so for centuries. Others churches have traditions and procedures that aren’t written down but have them all the same. To control a large group of people, you have to have things happen at a certain time or there would be chaos and confusion.

After I discovered that I could create artwork, I thought the art I would want to do would be traditional scenery or portraits. In fact, I now realise that the conformity I expected of myself in regards to artwork has not materialised. My work is more abstract and geometric than traditional.

In my life, I have come to realise that lack of conformity might not be an actual issue. When I moved to Scotland, I was able to discover who I was rather than who people told me I was. And when you conform in religion it shouldn’t be so you can be a copy of someone but simply to stop chaos in a large group of people.

So what do you think of conformity? Do you conform in a way that leads to you not realising who you are because you’ve lost the essence of yourself? Maybe it’s time for you to change that. You need to know who you are and what you like to do.