I have a Dream – Martin Luther King Jr.


I have a dream. Not the one that Martin Luther King Jnr had, but one of my own. There are so many dreams that you have as a child – some that are almost impossible (like becoming a princess) and others that are more realistic, like becoming a nurse or doctor.

However, childhood dreams do not always come to pass. And sometimes those dreams grow and morph into something else entirely. Does that mean it is wrong to dream as a child? Should you stop your children dreaming? Of course not! Dreams help the creativity side of a child develop and you never know where they could end up in life.

One of my dreams as a child was to be a ballet dancer. We took classes when I was small – can’t remember how old I was, but it was discovered very quickly that I did not possess the co-ordination or the height needed to become one. So that idea I had of myself was never going to come to pass.

I also wanted to have a horse of my own and ride it but that was equally unrealistic. I believe it was in my pre-teen years that I learnt to ride. This I was good at and enjoyed it but again it was not sustainable as a career for me.

You probably had your own ideas of what you wanted to be when you grew up. And probably, like me, a number of different things that were unrealistic in your circumstances or way of life. But that’s ok. We need to have these dreams or visions to help us form our imagination or creative side of our brains.

As you get older, you learn what is possible and probable in your life. You don’t have to stay stagnant in what you do, but can grow and develop yourself as you go through different situations and circumstances.

However, one thing is necessary and many think of it as uncomfortable to mention – you have to mourn or grieve the impossible life you imagined in your youth or young adulthood. People don’t like to talk about it, but it’s a necessary part of learning to accept yourself and your situation as you are.

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to settle for what you have in the present. You can still have a dream or a vision for your future. For many years, I thought my vision was just going to fall in my lap at the right time. But it’s not going to be like that. You have to work at getting it set up so that you will be ready when the time comes for its fruition.

When you have a dream or vision for your future, it needs to be realistic but push you out of your comfort zone. For example, if you say you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year by winning the lottery, it COULD happen but it’s highly unlikely to happen. If you said you wanted to make an extra hundred dollars by doing some extra or different work to your normal job, that is much more realistic and you are capable of achieving it if you plan and work at getting it done.

There is more to life than where you are at time moment. Are you going to prepare yourself for what you dream about? Or will you sit where you are and say it should come to pass on its own without me working for it? You have the choice to make it happen or not.

Dreams

The dreams you have as a child
Are not always meant to come to pass
Some of them will come true
But your life will be transformed.

You think you will do many things
Imagining things that bring forth dreams
And not considering what you have
Or your life now as an adult.

So many things I wanted to be
But my life path has been different
I went down a stranger road
Than the one I had imagined.

However, some dreams do come true
And you find your life made whole
They may be unexpected
But you can make a happy life.

Take your ideas and see what happens
Which ones you can bring forth
They will mark your way in life
And complete you totally.

Big Life Lesson

This week has been a big life lesson for me. Kevin had the flu (the real thing) and with his condition I knew there was the possibility of him getting a secondary infection and that could have produced a LOT of problems for us.

With Kevin unable to contribute to the household in any way, all the duties fell to me. I was all on my own and just as this time the Carer’s Centre told me they couldn’t come and help me at all until he had finished his medication. They had a duty of care to the workers and the other clients.

What surprised us was how he even managed to get the flu in the first place as 1. he hadn’t been out anywhere and 2. he had the flu injection last year as he always does. No matter how it looked, he was literally unable to do anything.

Not only that but there is mould in my son’s bedroom and we cannot let him sleep in there until it is sorted. So life was rather different for both of us and with Johnathan on the spectrum, he didn’t handle the changes well.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, basically, I had reached the conclusion that I couldn’t do a lot physically because of my fibromyalgia but actually I learnt this week that I am capable of SO much more than I believed.

Kevin is almost back to his normal health thank goodness and I am ok. This was a big life lesson to me and I realised that although I did things round the house and for our family, the balance of work has basically fallen onto Kevin.

I was chatting to my mentor, Linda Clay, telling her what an awful person I was and how terrible I must be. She told me that I mustn’t do that to myself and that it is a big life lesson to me. I can’t change the past or predict the future. All we have is now and what we do with what is given us.

Right now, all I have is the ability to be mindful and not let the lion’s share of the work fall on my husband. We are both disabled and used to do everything together and we have now started doing that agin. It makes such a difference when you share the load equally.

I love my wee family and will do what they need. What big life lesson have you had that made you change everything you did?

Make decisions

 

There are many times in life we have to make decisions – big ones, small ones, middle size ones. Ones that you regret and ones that you love. There are many tiny ones that you have to make in one day. What to wear, what to eat, what to drink. Sometimes there are so many decisions to make you end up with decision fatigue.

When I moved from England to Scotland, I really struggled to make decisions. I didn’t realise that making negative decisions was making a choice as well. Negative mindsets can steer you on a path to more depression, more anxiety and more distress in your life.

I’m not saying I make great decisions every day – in fact I don’t believe anyone can. But it is what you do with the choices you make. Do you take the negative experiences and change them to a positive? I don’t always manage to do so but it is possible.

If you do end up with a negative mindset or decision fatigue, it is important to allow your body and mind to rest and recover in whatever way suits you best. For me, colouring or artwork or writing has been a release and I feel rested and rejuvenated once I have completed some.

There are times where it is hard to see what the “right” decision is. But you still have to make one. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what decision you make, you can learn from it and grow in life.

For me, one of the biggest decisions of my life was meeting Kevin online at first and then in person and then us deciding to get married. These were all decisions that we made together. It has led me on the pathway to build a website and use my creativity to produce not only artwork I love but some intuitive artwork for others.

One thing I would caution is not to make big decisions when you are tired or hungry. At this point you can’t concentrate enough to make a wise decision. So give your body what it needs first.

What do you think about making decisions? Do you enjoy doing so? Have you made decisions that transformed your life and set you on a different path?

I would love to hear from you. Your life is precious and affects the people around you. So take good care of yourself as we enter into this holiday season of Christmas. Sometimes we can get so caught up in making the day perfect for everyone we forget the self-care that we ourselves need.

So why not make good decisions this holiday season? Don’t try and do it all but give yourself grace and time to rejuvenate as well. Maybe it means the food is not perfect or everything is done on the day you would like, but that’s ok. If you enjoy making everything perfect, that’s fine too. Life will continue and things will change but that is how it works.