This week I was reminded of a time in my past when fear stopped me. And I mean physically stopped dead in the middle of the road. I was standing there crossing the street and stopped in the middle waiting for the traffic to be clear. As I was standing there, I suddenly realised I couldn’t remember how to cross the road. How on earth could I get to the other side?
Fortunately I did remember after a while. I honestly don’t know how long I spent stood stock still in the middle of the road, but I can tell you a number of cars came past me as I stood there.
Fear can be so insidious, I must admit. You can think that you are ok and you can just get on with things and discover that suddenly you stop dead and wonder if you can continue. You question not only yourself but your ability to do things can be compromised.
You have probably heard the stories of soldiers that suddenly can’t carry on with the job they are meant to do in the middle of war. In the past these people were shot as cowards or deserters. Now things have moved on in the area of mental health and PTSD and there is more understanding of these things. I can’t say that everyone finds the help they need – they don’t. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t available somewhere.
As a child, I believed that no matter what I did, I would never be able to achieve in life. In spite of my love for history, the degree I got in it, the fact that I managed to achieve Grade VI on the clarinet, Grade III on the piano, Grade IV on recorder, and also a masters degree, I never felt that I had done anything worthwhile.
This is simply not true. However, I must admit fear has stopped me more times than I want to remember. But you know what? Looking back at the past and dwelling on the times you were stopped by fear doesn’t do you any good. What you need to remember is not the fear, but what it was that got you going again.
The past is the past and unless it helps you with the future, there is no point in living/thinking of it. Your life WILL be different as you grow and develop anyway but you can make it a full life, a contented life, the life YOU want to live, not what other people want you to, or you think they want you to.
Fear does not have to rule your life. I’m not saying it won’t come knocking at your door. You may have given way to it a lot and it takes time to change your mindset. I was living mostly in my past and remembering all the bad or negative things.
As I was talking to Linda Clay she was telling me that I have a great life. Yes, it was different to what I planned, but I have SO many things I can talk about. I CAN change the ending.
My life now is fuller than it ever has been before and I can make it even more so as I develop myself and change that instant fear mindset. I have so many things I can talk about – my family life, the unexpected passion I have discovered when someone gives me an idea of something they wish to be created through colour and form and I can take time to ask them questions and visualise what they want me to do.
You don’t know what you are capable of until you try. Discovering your passion may take you time, as it has me, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do so. The possibilities are endless. No, you won’t want to do everything in life. That isn’t realistic. There are things you will be better at and that’s ok.
Do you know your passion? If you do, I would love to hear what it is. If you don’t yet, take courage that it is still possible to find it and you can do it. Fear does not have to rule your life.