Do you control it OR does it control you?

Does it control you OR do you control it?

Does it control you or do you control it. Interesting statement. I cannot take credit for the blogpost – it came from a friend of mine who has known me for over 20 years.

Instantly in my mind came a graphic picture of two elements warring against each other, both determined to win but the victory undecided. In fact, it’s the one above this post here. So we chatted about it and I was saying I was going to create it and here it is!

You see, it doesn’t refer to a particular situation or circumstance, it can apply to anything. However, if you took this and used this to make people do just as you wanted, then that would be an inappropriate usage of the power that is within that statement. Control of one human being over another is wrong, no matter WHAT the circumstances.

Pondering is quite illuminating sometimes and I started to ponder on this. How would I be if I chose this in every situation in my life? How would this then impact my family? You see, we are all linked together and could never live on an island alone, without help, without food or without clothing and without drink?

But I am talking of my immediate family. I am going to be shaking the way we live and yes, it involves a number of changes. I know it won’t be easy, but we can get through it together as a family and yes, that’s important because Johnathan is moving up in life and some things need to change now that he is coming up to school age.

But then I thought what do I need to do for myself? I have been talking about self-care but relating that to just being a mindless person watching endless tv…so far removed from what it ACTUALLY is.

Has it got to the stage of controlling me? Not quite yet and it won’t! Sometimes you just need a little push to realise who you are and what you are intended to do on this earth. Your purpose for living hasn’t expired yet – if it had, you wouldn’t be here yourself!

I’ve had some knocks in the last couple of months, but that’s ok. It doesn’t matter if you need to take time to recover from things or the shock of them. Get yourselves out there again like me and go get those goals!

I heard or read a story (I can’t remember where) that a stonemason was sitting by the side of the road hitting a rock. A child was observing each thwack of the tools as the stonemason continued his work. Finally, he said to the stonemason “which thwack of the hammer breaks the stone you are working on?” The stonemason replied that it wasn’t the first one or the last one, or all the ones in between. It was all of them TOGETHER that created the crack which split the stone.” So don’t forget the little steps that got you to where you are.

So my question to you is…..Does it control you or do you control it?

Control

Control, control who has control?
Is it me or is it you?
Life continues as it is
Or changes as it goes.

All the different things in life
Control can be unusual
You didn’t think it mattered
But you did not have control.

There are so many things in life
Where you think you have control
But do you know what happens
When it controls your mind.

Today I want what’s best for you
And give your life some freedom
What you believe will change your life
If only you will live it.

Spring ushers in new life

photo courtesy of Cheryl-Charles Wentland-Davis

Spring ushers in new life. All around you see beautiful signs of that growth beginning. Yellow is one of the most prominent colours of the season, for example winter aconite, crocus & daffodils shine brightly in spring.

I never really thought about it seriously before. Yes, I knew there was spring and the buds on the trees promised the new life that was to come. And that it was the time lambs were born and you could see them in the fields. But I never considered spring itself.

We all go through different seasons in our lives. My best “spring” was when I met Kevin. In fact, we actually met on 1 March so it was spring outside combined with spring in my heart. It was a new and blessed time for the two of us as we developed our relationship with each other.

I think the interesting thing is that we sometimes go through what seems a mix of seasons at the same time and the lines are never totally defined. In some ways it can be winter and spring at the same time.

Natalie was stillborn on 12 February and although it was one of the most difficult situations Kevin and I had encountered in our marriage thus far. In some ways it was the spring of a new chapter of understanding each other but also the ending of a life that we had been expecting.

Spring is also the season that many children are accepted into the church with their first communion as they begin their new life in Christ. Again this signifies the end of something and the beginning of another.

Actually whenever there is spring or the start of something new, there is always the death of something else. Or another way of looking at it is that when you say yes at the same time you are saying no. For example, yes to joining your life with another, making decisions jointly and no to a single life where you don’t have to check with anyone else because you are alone.

photo courtesy of Cheryl-Charles Wentland-Davis

A spring season in your life can give you such newness and growth and development within yourself that you never imagined you could have. I love the spring feeling and the promise of leaves and fruit to come. Does it always happen? No. But mostly it does. And the promise can bring such delight and joy to your life.

Are you in a spring season of promise in your life? Looking at the beginning of the leaves and flowers of new growth? When something new starts, the old has to go and be left behind. And that’s ok. You can mourn over the past or you can be joyful because of the newness to come. It is your choice what you want to do.

Acts of Kindness

Acts of kindness are never wasted. They can have an impact that goes beyond the single act of one person helping another. It’s like when you drop a stone in a pond: the initial splash can be clearly seen, but there are then also ripples which spread outwards to encompass the whole pond. This “ripple effect” can take so many forms and range from tiny things to massive things.

For me, this week has been rather a big one as I am tackling redoing my website. It is a big job and not one that I particularly relish. But I have been helped by my mentor Linda Clay who has crafted a fantastic site for herself.

Linda has taken time out of her busy schedule to help me with the different problems I have encountered and has shown me the steps I was missing. I am very appreciative of her help and support.

It doesn’t matter what you do in life, helping someone almost always impacts them for the good. Now I’m not saying you should sacrifice your work, your self-care or your family life to help others, but the ripple effect continues. What you have to decide is whether it will be a positive or a negative ripple effect.

Tonight I was chatting to a new friend and she helped me see things that I hadn’t realised were weighing me down. When I was thanking her at the end of our conversation and saying what a blessing she had been, she was delighted to know that she had been able to help me.

I was reminded of a comment in a book that struck me years ago when the author got me thinking about the fact that we don’t tend to compliment people while they are alive but we talk about their good points once they are dead. But we really shouldn’t do this. Why do we wait until they are gone to compliment them or let them know what a blessing they have been to us?

I don’t think it’s wrong to thank people for their acts of kindness. You can carry that ripple effect into your next task or even the next day following and pass it on to others. It is only a small thing but imagine what you could inspire in other people’s lives!

For me there have been many acts of kindness from others, some of which I was able to repay to the person and some I was not. But the ripple effect still continues as the act of kindness is spread to others. We may not get it right for everyone but we can spread the negative or the positive.

And acts of kindness don’t have to be big or cost a lot of money. We can be kind to each other in small things. And you never know what a kind word or a smile might do for someone else.

Have you had any acts of kindness done to you? What was the “ripple effect?” Very rarely is it taken the wrong way and I bet you were able to give back to them or pass it onto someone else.

Differences that make us special

When I moved from the south of England to live near Glasgow in Scotland, I found the way of life and living such a contrast because it was so different. Two things I observed were no manic lifestyle and when people mentioned traffic jams on the M8, it was actually what would have been considered a good day on the M25!

It wasn’t just the contrast of lifestyles but the slower pace of life suited my personality much better. I don’t enjoy being pressurised AT ALL and initially there were none. Or I should say it felt like none because nobody expected me to live or behave a certain way. Some people love constant hustle and bustle, but I don’t.

Have you ever known that every snowflake that falls to the ground is different? In all of the world, there is nobody exactly like you. They may look like you but do not have your character and personality. In fact, how they express themselves will be unique as well.

What makes life so special is the differences. You have been gifted with talents that are not like mine. If you enjoy crafts – like I do, there will still be contrasts between the two of us. I will never be able to make or create something exactly like you because I am not you and never will be.

But you know what? That’s ok. The fact that each person on this planet is unique and there has never been nor ever will be someone like you is amazing, precious and wonderful. You need to find your purpose and passion in life. It is not for anybody to tell you what it is. You are blessed with a mind, body and soul of your own to be used for a particular purpose.

For many years I wondered not only what I was passionate about but how I would fulfil the purpose of my life as well. Now I am beginning to discover the talents and gifts I have been given in ways I never expected. I know the point I am moving towards and am beginning to take the steps to be able to get there.

You can do this, too. Your journey through life will be unique because you are. As we continue in our path, we encounter others that we may or may not become close to. Some are meant to be in our lives for only a short time while others are a more permanent feature.

Have you found your passion yet? Do you know why you are here on this earth right now? I wonder who it is your life is meant to touch. What are your gifts and talents you are blessed with and how are you going to improve them? I would love to hear from you.