Growth or fixed mindset

I have been thinking about the differences between the two mindsets recently. I often find myself thinking in a fixed mindset way. For example, there are times that I believe things will never change.

This, of course, is a sign that I am thinking in a fixed mindset way and I need to expand it into a growth mindset. When I left England and moved to Scotland, I believed that things could not be worse and I would rather be lonely than continue to stay where I was.

However, God had other plans for me and I met my husband Kevin. My fixed mindset said we wouldn’t have children and here I am with 5 babies in heaven and one on earth. But it still doesn’t mean I have a growth mindset in every area of my life.

This last week has been a bit strange in some ways. I realised that I was not exactly who I believed myself to be and that my character and ability was not being expressed in the way I present my website and Facebook business page.

So things are going to be changed and updated. I will be keeping the name of the business the same but the way things look will be different. Expressing myself in my own unique way without muting my desire for colour and freedom will be taking me on a different path.

The other thing that has struck me is that I have not had a growth mindset in every area of my life and the biggest one is finances. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we assume money will magically grow on trees. You have to do something to bring the money in and work for it. God promises to bless the work of our hands, not that He is an instant money pot. I love knowing this. Such a wonderful truth to understand.

I don’t believe there is anyone who has a growth mindset in every area. We are all a work in progress and need to change things in ourselves and learn to trust our own abilities. In which areas of your life are you limiting yourself with a fixed mindset and which areas do you encourage growth in your life by having a mindset that is open to possibilities? I would love to hear from you.

Make decisions

 

There are many times in life we have to make decisions – big ones, small ones, middle size ones. Ones that you regret and ones that you love. There are many tiny ones that you have to make in one day. What to wear, what to eat, what to drink. Sometimes there are so many decisions to make you end up with decision fatigue.

When I moved from England to Scotland, I really struggled to make decisions. I didn’t realise that making negative decisions was making a choice as well. Negative mindsets can steer you on a path to more depression, more anxiety and more distress in your life.

I’m not saying I make great decisions every day – in fact I don’t believe anyone can. But it is what you do with the choices you make. Do you take the negative experiences and change them to a positive? I don’t always manage to do so but it is possible.

If you do end up with a negative mindset or decision fatigue, it is important to allow your body and mind to rest and recover in whatever way suits you best. For me, colouring or artwork or writing has been a release and I feel rested and rejuvenated once I have completed some.

There are times where it is hard to see what the “right” decision is. But you still have to make one. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what decision you make, you can learn from it and grow in life.

For me, one of the biggest decisions of my life was meeting Kevin online at first and then in person and then us deciding to get married. These were all decisions that we made together. It has led me on the pathway to build a website and use my creativity to produce not only artwork I love but some intuitive artwork for others.

One thing I would caution is not to make big decisions when you are tired or hungry. At this point you can’t concentrate enough to make a wise decision. So give your body what it needs first.

What do you think about making decisions? Do you enjoy doing so? Have you made decisions that transformed your life and set you on a different path?

I would love to hear from you. Your life is precious and affects the people around you. So take good care of yourself as we enter into this holiday season of Christmas. Sometimes we can get so caught up in making the day perfect for everyone we forget the self-care that we ourselves need.

So why not make good decisions this holiday season? Don’t try and do it all but give yourself grace and time to rejuvenate as well. Maybe it means the food is not perfect or everything is done on the day you would like, but that’s ok. If you enjoy making everything perfect, that’s fine too. Life will continue and things will change but that is how it works.

Acts of Kindness

Acts of kindness are never wasted. They can have an impact that goes beyond the single act of one person helping another. It’s like when you drop a stone in a pond: the initial splash can be clearly seen, but there are then also ripples which spread outwards to encompass the whole pond. This “ripple effect” can take so many forms and range from tiny things to massive things.

For me, this week has been rather a big one as I am tackling redoing my website. It is a big job and not one that I particularly relish. But I have been helped by my mentor Linda Clay who has crafted a fantastic site for herself.

Linda has taken time out of her busy schedule to help me with the different problems I have encountered and has shown me the steps I was missing. I am very appreciative of her help and support.

It doesn’t matter what you do in life, helping someone almost always impacts them for the good. Now I’m not saying you should sacrifice your work, your self-care or your family life to help others, but the ripple effect continues. What you have to decide is whether it will be a positive or a negative ripple effect.

Tonight I was chatting to a new friend and she helped me see things that I hadn’t realised were weighing me down. When I was thanking her at the end of our conversation and saying what a blessing she had been, she was delighted to know that she had been able to help me.

I was reminded of a comment in a book that struck me years ago when the author got me thinking about the fact that we don’t tend to compliment people while they are alive but we talk about their good points once they are dead. But we really shouldn’t do this. Why do we wait until they are gone to compliment them or let them know what a blessing they have been to us?

I don’t think it’s wrong to thank people for their acts of kindness. You can carry that ripple effect into your next task or even the next day following and pass it on to others. It is only a small thing but imagine what you could inspire in other people’s lives!

For me there have been many acts of kindness from others, some of which I was able to repay to the person and some I was not. But the ripple effect still continues as the act of kindness is spread to others. We may not get it right for everyone but we can spread the negative or the positive.

And acts of kindness don’t have to be big or cost a lot of money. We can be kind to each other in small things. And you never know what a kind word or a smile might do for someone else.

Have you had any acts of kindness done to you? What was the “ripple effect?” Very rarely is it taken the wrong way and I bet you were able to give back to them or pass it onto someone else.

Fear of action

Fear of action is something that can happen to anyone. I was surprised last night to see my husband anxious as he is generally such a calm person. He was fearful of some exercises that had been given to him. In 2010 he broke his hip and his knees dislocate quite easily and some of the exercises would possibly put too much stress on them.

It got me thinking about how fear stops me at times. I get nervous about doing things and sometimes this can cause me problems because I then procrastinate and let the fear prevent me from taking action.

One thing that has been scaring me is creating mandalas. It’s something I have wanted to do, but found it hard to begin. I let the fear of making a terrible mistake or doing it wrong or not being able to do it at all stop me from starting.

Yesterday I decided to give it a try and create a mandala. However, I wasn’t sure what package to use. I tried to create it in the Graphic app but I knew it was going to be a hard job doing one in there and making sure everything was equal and looked exactly the same.

In the evening, Kevin said to me why didn’t I look on YouTube and see someone else creating one? I had let the fear of action stop me from looking at YouTube. I know people look at it every day and the fear was irrational but it was still there.

Anyway, with Kevin sitting there next to me, I managed to open up YouTube and have a look at what scared me. In point of fact, there was nothing for me to be concerned about – the fear of action had stopped me doing something I wanted to do but I changed that last night.

Where do you find you let fear of action rule you? Do you want to let it go? Is it an irrational fear like mine was? Or is there a reason behind it?