Acceptance, Attitude, challenges, change, Confidence, decisions, dream, dreams, Encouragement, importance, Lifestyle, lifestyle, new life, passion

I have a Dream – Martin Luther King Jr.


I have a dream. Not the one that Martin Luther King Jr had, but one of my own. There are so many dreams that you have as a child – some that are almost impossible (like becoming a princess) and others that are more realistic, like becoming a nurse or doctor.

However, childhood dreams do not always come to pass. And sometimes those dreams grow and morph into something else entirely. Does that mean it is wrong to dream as a child? Should you stop your children dreaming? Of course not! Dreams help the creativity side of a child develop and you never know where they could end up in life.

One of my dreams as a child was to be a ballet dancer. We took classes when I was small – can’t remember how old I was, but it was discovered very quickly that I did not possess the coordination or the height needed to become one. So that idea I had of myself was never going to come to pass.

I also wanted to have a horse of my own and ride it but that was equally unrealistic. I believe it was in my pre-teen years that I learned to ride. This I was good at and enjoyed it but again it was not sustainable as a career for me.

You probably had your own ideas of what you wanted to be when you grew up. And probably, like me, a number of different things that were unrealistic in your circumstances or way of life. But that’s ok. We need to have these dreams or visions to help us form our imagination or creative side of our brains.

As you get older, you learn what is possible and probable in your life. You don’t have to stay stagnant in what you do, but can grow and develop yourself as you go through different situations and circumstances.

However, one thing is necessary and many think of it as uncomfortable to mention – you have to mourn or grieve the impossible life you imagined in your youth or young adulthood. People don’t like to talk about it, but it’s a necessary part of learning to accept yourself and your situation as you are.

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to settle for what you have in the present. You can still have a dream or a vision for your future. For many years, I thought my vision was just going to fall in my lap at the right time. But it’s not going to be like that. You have to work at getting it set up so that you will be ready when the time comes for its fruition.

When you have a dream or vision for your future, it needs to be realistic but push you out of your comfort zone. For example, if you say you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year by winning the lottery, it COULD happen but it’s highly unlikely to happen. If you said you wanted to make an extra hundred dollars by doing some extra or different work to your normal job, that is much more realistic and you are capable of achieving it if you plan and work at getting it done.

There is more to life than where you are at time moment. Are you going to prepare yourself for what you dream about? Or will you sit where you are and say it should come to pass on its own without me working for it? You have the choice to make it happen or not.

Dreams

The dreams you have as a child
Are not always meant to come to pass
Some of them will come true
But your life will be transformed.

You think you will do many things
Imagining things that bring forth dreams
And not considering what you have
Or your life now as an adult.

So many things I wanted to be
But my life path has been different
I went down a stranger road
Than the one I had imagined.

However, some dreams do come true
And you find your life made whole
They may be unexpected
But you can make a happy life.

Take your ideas and see what happens
Which ones you can bring forth
They will mark your way in life
And complete you totally.

change, different, lifestyle, limiting beliefs, mindset, Thoughts, view

Limiting beliefs and mindset

People tend to have either a fixed or growth mindset and if it is a fixed one they often lead to holding limiting beliefs. Changing these are not easy because you may not even notice them and the fact that they stop you developing and growing.

When we want to improve our lives in any way, these beliefs can prevent this from happening. I personally didn’t realise they were there and was surprised to find so many of them. In fact, as time goes on, I am discovering more of them. Changing them is not as easy as just saying you want to. It requires a lot of hard work to do so. The reason is because these beliefs are deeply held and we often don’t recognise them either.

For example I thought I couldn’t do digital artwork. I found the whole thought of using a computer or ipad to create art contrary to what I believed. I had seen that artists could use ipads on the television but didn’t believe it was something I could do. Then one day Kevin showed me an app I found easy to use and enjoyed. Suddenly I realised I was actually doing digital art. Now I have the “evidence” to prove to myself that I can do it.

Sometimes the limiting belief is so deeply hidden inside yourself that it is hard to find. Working things out with other people can be helpful in doing so. Or maybe even journalling to understand yourself and be able to work things out.

Discovering what your beliefs are can be enlightening. You need to recognise what they are in order to be able to change them. And you have to understand that this is not a one-time experience but an ongoing challenge.

The fixed mindset holds you back but as you begin to tackle each limiting belief, you will find things changing for you. Every effort you make will now not be sabotaged as you make a different life for yourself and it will impact others around you too. They will see how things are improving and your attitude will be more positive as you develop and grow.

Looking at our limiting beliefs and beginning to change them will improve our lives. I am by no means an expert in doing this myself, but am on the journey to discovering them and how to develop a growth mindset instead.

You can make your passage through life better and easier by beginning to change as you see the contrast between the old and new you. The fixed mindset would have never believed you could do what you are doing now, but the growth mindset encourages you to keep growing and developing and understands that it is a constant progress through life and that your path is never static but always progressing.

So what are you going to do? Look at your life and discover change and growth? Or stay where you are and stagnate? You CAN develop a growth mindset and if you want to take this journey with me, I would be delighted to hear from you. Leave me a comment here or contact me via email at anika@anikasheartandcrafts.com.

challenges, change, lifestyle, self-sabotage, Thoughts

Self-sabotaging behaviour

Today I would like to talk about self-sabotaging behaviour. I have found it happened quite a lot of times throughout my life and I am sure it has happened to you too.

This is not something that people like to discuss but is relevant to a lot of us. One of the things I did was sabotage my craft work. I wanted it to be fantastic but would make mistakes that I was unable to rectify and it made me think I was totally incapable. It took me some time to see that I self-sabotaged because I didn’t want to admit I did it or face the need to change.

You know what? Change is possible in your life. It’s not an easy path to follow but you are capable of doing so. Facing up to challenges that emerge for all of us is difficult. I’m not going to lie to you.

If you decide you want to see a difference in your situation, you have to take action yourself. Nobody can do it for you. Facing up to the reality of your self-sabotaging calls for a change in you.

For me, I like things to be perfect. Now, that is never always possible because we are all a work in progress. I heard or read somewhere that ceramics used to be mended using gold. This made the vase or plate or whatever it was useful again and more beautiful than ever.

We too can be broken in some ways and need fixing from the problems of the past. However, inside us, our natural response is self-sabotaging behaviour. For me, I lose confidence in my ability to do things and so sabotage myself without realising it.

Someone pointed out to me on Friday that I might have fallen into an old pattern of thinking and she was right. As things had got difficult and needed my attention, I forgot to do real self-care. I was just sitting watching shows mindlessly and forgetting that my soul needs refreshing and I needed some time to refresh and renew myself. I was just letting negative thoughts flash through my mind and not challenging them. I was starting to think I was incapable of functioning as a wife and mother because of my disabilities. This pattern of thinking was destructive and I was beginning to feel really depressed. Once she said it, I suddenly clicked what was happening and was able to snap out of it.

In the past I have sabotaged myself through fear of consequences if I didn’t. This is not the way to live at all. I began thinking there was no reason to try at things because I would always get it wrong while other people would always get it right. It set up a destructive pattern of belief within me that needed to be challenged before I could begin the process of change. You cannot change something you don’t recognise.

The core beliefs that you hold, that were created when you were a child can either be positive or negative. If they are not helpful to you, recognising and changing them will produce a massive difference in your life.

Did you know that this was even possible to do? You need to begin telling yourself a different story and setting up new patterns of behaviour in your life so that you stop self-sabotaging. When you face up to this process, one way to begin creating what you need is to write down all the reasons why you are not what your mind is telling you and look at the facts of HOW you are different now.

I left a situation that I wasn’t happy in and decided on the massive change to drive over 400 miles to create a new and different life. I’m not saying you have to copy me in this, but sometimes it is necessary. You can self-sabotage even in moving because you hanker after the old life and think you had it all in your past whereas in reality you did not. You have to be willing to change everything if you want to create a new existence for yourself.

Your life can be different, but you need to make the choice to change it. If you see self sabotaging behaviour in yourself, you can begin to change it. This is possible but you need to recognise the problem, believe it can be changed and take action.