I have a Dream – Martin Luther King Jr.


I have a dream. Not the one that Martin Luther King Jnr had, but one of my own. There are so many dreams that you have as a child – some that are almost impossible (like becoming a princess) and others that are more realistic, like becoming a nurse or doctor.

However, childhood dreams do not always come to pass. And sometimes those dreams grow and morph into something else entirely. Does that mean it is wrong to dream as a child? Should you stop your children dreaming? Of course not! Dreams help the creativity side of a child develop and you never know where they could end up in life.

One of my dreams as a child was to be a ballet dancer. We took classes when I was small – can’t remember how old I was, but it was discovered very quickly that I did not possess the co-ordination or the height needed to become one. So that idea I had of myself was never going to come to pass.

I also wanted to have a horse of my own and ride it but that was equally unrealistic. I believe it was in my pre-teen years that I learnt to ride. This I was good at and enjoyed it but again it was not sustainable as a career for me.

You probably had your own ideas of what you wanted to be when you grew up. And probably, like me, a number of different things that were unrealistic in your circumstances or way of life. But that’s ok. We need to have these dreams or visions to help us form our imagination or creative side of our brains.

As you get older, you learn what is possible and probable in your life. You don’t have to stay stagnant in what you do, but can grow and develop yourself as you go through different situations and circumstances.

However, one thing is necessary and many think of it as uncomfortable to mention – you have to mourn or grieve the impossible life you imagined in your youth or young adulthood. People don’t like to talk about it, but it’s a necessary part of learning to accept yourself and your situation as you are.

Now this doesn’t mean that you have to settle for what you have in the present. You can still have a dream or a vision for your future. For many years, I thought my vision was just going to fall in my lap at the right time. But it’s not going to be like that. You have to work at getting it set up so that you will be ready when the time comes for its fruition.

When you have a dream or vision for your future, it needs to be realistic but push you out of your comfort zone. For example, if you say you want to make a million dollars by the end of the year by winning the lottery, it COULD happen but it’s highly unlikely to happen. If you said you wanted to make an extra hundred dollars by doing some extra or different work to your normal job, that is much more realistic and you are capable of achieving it if you plan and work at getting it done.

There is more to life than where you are at time moment. Are you going to prepare yourself for what you dream about? Or will you sit where you are and say it should come to pass on its own without me working for it? You have the choice to make it happen or not.

Dreams

The dreams you have as a child
Are not always meant to come to pass
Some of them will come true
But your life will be transformed.

You think you will do many things
Imagining things that bring forth dreams
And not considering what you have
Or your life now as an adult.

So many things I wanted to be
But my life path has been different
I went down a stranger road
Than the one I had imagined.

However, some dreams do come true
And you find your life made whole
They may be unexpected
But you can make a happy life.

Take your ideas and see what happens
Which ones you can bring forth
They will mark your way in life
And complete you totally.

Finding Yourself

 

Finding yourself is a topic that could go on forever, but today I want to bring a few things to your attention. When I moved to Scotland I had no memory of the past. Everything was different and I knew I needed to find myself. But how to go about it was not immediately clear.

One of the things I did was to change my name. I wanted one where the meaning of it connected to God. Anika means a gift of God’s favour and Bathia is daughter of God. This gave me a link to someone/something bigger than myself and brought me peace.

I’m not saying that you need to change your name to find yourself. It was my pathway in life but may not be yours and that’s OK. Nobody follows another’s path in life. Though you may have the same experiences as someone else, you will both respond to them differently because of different experiences in the past.

Finding myself from that blankness has taken 9 years. And there have been people that have come and gone in that time. And some that have been in my life over that whole period. You know what? That’s OK, too.

I have discovered that my passion is to create digital intuitive artwork for others. After Christmas I was attempting to do a piece and it just simply wasn’t working, or satisfying me so I changed it. And the client is totally happy with what I produced.

When you discover yourself and your passion, developing your talents and gifts is a wonderful way to express our purpose in the world. We are not here to just please ourselves but to be a blessing to others.

Have you found your passion yet or are you still on the journey to find yourself? I would love to hear from you. The journey will continue until death but knowing who you are, what you are here for and following that to bless others is what we are made for. We are all unique and finding yourself can be quite a challenge.

Confidence is a great thing

Confidence is a great thing.  I love the fact that I have friends and family that encourage me and cheer me on. Positive words drive me to achieve my best and do what other people believe I can do. Sometimes without such support from others I feel as though I’m not capable enough or good enough to do things on my own – I’m not confident enough in myself.

Believing in yourself is important. Knowing your own potential is, too. Sometimes however, you need others to help you understand the talents and gifts that you have. It’s not that you don’t have such talents, but sometimes you lack confidence in your ability, or just feel you’re not good enough to do whatever it is you want to do.

Self belief is an important thing. I’m not saying you should be overly proud of your accomplishments or even be falsely humble in them. Believing you are capable and able to do something that you actually can do is one of the most important things in life.

Your gifts, talents and passion were all given to you for a reason. You were blessed in a unique way that nobody else in the world has been and what you do is done in a different way to anyone else.

However, you do not need anyone to validate who you are and what you do. I began to realise this as I stepped into my passion and realised confidence was the ingredient I was missing. I was looking for external validation to tell me if something I did was OK or not.

Then I wondered: why could I not be my own cheerleader ? Why could I not tell myself I have done a good job and be proud of my accomplishments, and the talents and abilities God has given me ? He made me this way and I should be able to believe I can do what He wishes.

So where are you in your journey in life ? Can you tell yourself you have done well ? Or do you need external validation ? You are made for a special reason and you need to discover what it is and live it out with confidence in yourself.

Find out who you are and your purpose in life and live in your own authenticity. If you are real, people will be drawn to you. And cheering yourself on in life and not expecting others to validate your talents and abilities is the best thing you could ever do.

Don’t live your life expecting and waiting for others to validate your mission. You are unique, just as everyone else in the world is.

Self-sabotaging behaviour

Today I would like to talk about self-sabotaging behaviour. I have found it happened quite a lot of times throughout my life and I am sure it has happened to you too.

This is not something that people like to discuss but is relevant to a lot of us. One of the things I did was sabotage my craft work. I wanted it to be fantastic but would make mistakes that I was unable to rectify and it made me think I was totally incapable. It took me some time to see that I self-sabotaged because I didn’t want to admit I did it or face the need to change.

You know what? Change is possible in your life. It’s not an easy path to follow but you are capable of doing so. Facing up to challenges that emerge for all of us is difficult. I’m not going to lie to you.

If you decide you want to see a difference in your situation, you have to take action yourself. Nobody can do it for you. Facing up to the reality of your self-sabotaging calls for a change in you.

For me, I like things to be perfect. Now, that is never always possible because we are all a work in progress. I heard or read somewhere that ceramics used to be mended using gold. This made the vase or plate or whatever it was useful again and more beautiful than ever.

We too can be broken in some ways and need fixing from the problems of the past. However, inside us, our natural response is self-sabotaging behaviour. For me, I lose confidence in my ability to do things and so sabotage myself without realising it.

Someone pointed out to me on Friday that I might have fallen into an old pattern of thinking and she was right. As things had got difficult and needed my attention, I forgot to do real self-care. I was just sitting watching shows mindlessly and forgetting that my soul needs refreshing and I needed some time to refresh and renew myself. I was just letting negative thoughts flash through my mind and not challenging them. I was starting to think I was incapable of functioning as a wife and mother because of my disabilities. This pattern of thinking was destructive and I was beginning to feel really depressed. Once she said it, I suddenly clicked what was happening and was able to snap out of it.

In the past I have sabotaged myself through fear of consequences if I didn’t. This is not the way to live at all. I began thinking there was no reason to try at things because I would always get it wrong while other people would always get it right. It set up a destructive pattern of belief within me that needed to be challenged before I could begin the process of change. You cannot change something you don’t recognise.

The core beliefs that you hold, that were created when you were a child can either be positive or negative. If they are not helpful to you, recognising and changing them will produce a massive difference in your life.

Did you know that this was even possible to do? You need to begin telling yourself a different story and setting up new patterns of behaviour in your life so that you stop self-sabotaging. When you face up to this process, one way to begin creating what you need is to write down all the reasons why you are not what your mind is telling you and look at the facts of HOW you are different now.

I left a situation that I wasn’t happy in and decided on the massive change to drive over 400 miles to create a new and different life. I’m not saying you have to copy me in this, but sometimes it is necessary. You can self-sabotage even in moving because you hanker after the old life and think you had it all in your past whereas in reality you did not. You have to be willing to change everything if you want to create a new existence for yourself.

Your life can be different, but you need to make the choice to change it. If you see self sabotaging behaviour in yourself, you can begin to change it. This is possible but you need to recognise the problem, believe it can be changed and take action.