Big Life Lesson

This week has been a big life lesson for me. Kevin had the flu (the real thing) and with his condition I knew there was the possibility of him getting a secondary infection and that could have produced a LOT of problems for us.

With Kevin unable to contribute to the household in any way, all the duties fell to me. I was all on my own and just as this time the Carer’s Centre told me they couldn’t come and help me at all until he had finished his medication. They had a duty of care to the workers and the other clients.

What surprised us was how he even managed to get the flu in the first place as 1. he hadn’t been out anywhere and 2. he had the flu injection last year as he always does. No matter how it looked, he was literally unable to do anything.

Not only that but there is mould in my son’s bedroom and we cannot let him sleep in there until it is sorted. So life was rather different for both of us and with Johnathan on the spectrum, he didn’t handle the changes well.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, basically, I had reached the conclusion that I couldn’t do a lot physically because of my fibromyalgia but actually I learnt this week that I am capable of SO much more than I believed.

Kevin is almost back to his normal health thank goodness and I am ok. This was a big life lesson to me and I realised that although I did things round the house and for our family, the balance of work has basically fallen onto Kevin.

I was chatting to my mentor, Linda Clay, telling her what an awful person I was and how terrible I must be. She told me that I mustn’t do that to myself and that it is a big life lesson to me. I can’t change the past or predict the future. All we have is now and what we do with what is given us.

Right now, all I have is the ability to be mindful and not let the lion’s share of the work fall on my husband. We are both disabled and used to do everything together and we have now started doing that agin. It makes such a difference when you share the load equally.

I love my wee family and will do what they need. What big life lesson have you had that made you change everything you did?

Make decisions

 

There are many times in life we have to make decisions – big ones, small ones, middle size ones. Ones that you regret and ones that you love. There are many tiny ones that you have to make in one day. What to wear, what to eat, what to drink. Sometimes there are so many decisions to make you end up with decision fatigue.

When I moved from England to Scotland, I really struggled to make decisions. I didn’t realise that making negative decisions was making a choice as well. Negative mindsets can steer you on a path to more depression, more anxiety and more distress in your life.

I’m not saying I make great decisions every day – in fact I don’t believe anyone can. But it is what you do with the choices you make. Do you take the negative experiences and change them to a positive? I don’t always manage to do so but it is possible.

If you do end up with a negative mindset or decision fatigue, it is important to allow your body and mind to rest and recover in whatever way suits you best. For me, colouring or artwork or writing has been a release and I feel rested and rejuvenated once I have completed some.

There are times where it is hard to see what the “right” decision is. But you still have to make one. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what decision you make, you can learn from it and grow in life.

For me, one of the biggest decisions of my life was meeting Kevin online at first and then in person and then us deciding to get married. These were all decisions that we made together. It has led me on the pathway to build a website and use my creativity to produce not only artwork I love but some intuitive artwork for others.

One thing I would caution is not to make big decisions when you are tired or hungry. At this point you can’t concentrate enough to make a wise decision. So give your body what it needs first.

What do you think about making decisions? Do you enjoy doing so? Have you made decisions that transformed your life and set you on a different path?

I would love to hear from you. Your life is precious and affects the people around you. So take good care of yourself as we enter into this holiday season of Christmas. Sometimes we can get so caught up in making the day perfect for everyone we forget the self-care that we ourselves need.

So why not make good decisions this holiday season? Don’t try and do it all but give yourself grace and time to rejuvenate as well. Maybe it means the food is not perfect or everything is done on the day you would like, but that’s ok. If you enjoy making everything perfect, that’s fine too. Life will continue and things will change but that is how it works.